Not easy

Its not easy fighting with self
When the conflict is within
Doing what you dont want to do and
Not being able to do what you want to do
Oh the pain is so intense
Often blurring the mind
Obscuring the conscience
Struggle continues
Seen it all, shown it all
Was it just to satisfy the questions mind?
Is it to try satisfying my own soul
Flesh took precedence
Love took backseat
What is left is pain
Guilt and shame
John, never play with flame
Looks attractive, vibrant
Cross the border only to burn ur fingers
How close is too close?
How far is too far?
Where to draw the line?
You have trusted everyone
Not knowing whom to doubt
Everybody claims honesty
God knows what is what
Its the same with you too John
God knows what is what
Its too complicated
Its too suffocating
Its not easy